If you are breaking the news about an upcoming divorce to your children, it is best to do it together. This means, to begin with, that you and your spouse should both be present. It also means that all of the children should be together, so the entire family has a single discussion about the divorce.
For one thing, telling the children at once ensures that you provide them with the information and feedback they need. They are not going to hear rumors of the divorce from someone else. This can help reduce some of the stress and anxiety the children have, and it gives them a chance to ask you questions about what the future is going to look like.
Presenting a united front
Additionally, having this meeting gives you and your spouse a chance to work together to show the children that you are both still committed to them. In this sense, even though you are getting divorced, you are still a united front as parents. You are going to seek an outcome that gives the children stability, and you both still love them. It is simply your personal relationship that is changing.
One thing to keep in mind while going through this discussion is that you should not blame your spouse for the divorce in front of the children. This does not mean they bear no responsibility. They may have done something that caused the divorce. But those types of discussions are best held between adults, whereas children should receive the message that both of their parents care for them and will be involved in their lives. You can tell them about the upcoming divorce without weighing them down with adult details.
If you are contemplating this conversation, you are likely close to the point where you will officially file for divorce. Be sure you know exactly what legal steps to take.
