When it comes to discussing divorce with your child, you should prepare yourself for a somewhat difficult conversation regardless of their age or temperament. After all, they will soon get news that their life will turn upside down, and unfortunately they have no way to change this.
But there are actions you can take to ease the burden of this knowledge. Presenting the discussion together with your co-parent is one of them.
Working together to stay in boundaries
Psychology Today discusses ways you can break the news of divorce in as easy and harmless a way as possible. Broaching the topic together with your co-parent is one of the easiest and best things you can do to help. But what does it help with?
First, it allows both of you to keep each other in check. Emotions run high during a divorce and it is human nature to want your loved ones to “take your side”. But the last thing your child needs is to feel like their parents play tug of war with them every time they talk. By approaching a conversation together, you can monitor each other’s words and ensure no exaggeration, guilt-tripping or personal matters get dragged in.
Helping your child feel secure
Next, it provides your child with a strong sense of security. If you still manage to hold important discussions together, it shows a unified front. They will likely feel more at ease knowing they can trust you to put your differences aside and work together, especially if it is for their sake.
Finally, it lets you organize your talk beforehand. Decide what you want to say and what you want to withhold. Predict questions that may come up. This allows you to seem organized, which can further add to the sense of stability you give off.
