Deciding on a living situation, particularly at the beginning of a divorce procedure, is difficult. While you may need space from your ex, you will also want to give your children maximum stability. Many families choose a “nesting” situation.
Nesting does not work for all families, but it is a good way to provide the room you and your ex may need, as well as give your children time to adjust to divorce. According to NBC News, pros of nesting involve little change to the children’s living situation, but cons involve difficulties if you and your ex are hostile.
The positives of nesting
Essentially, nesting involves your children staying in the family home while you and your ex take shifts parenting. This will allow your children to stay in familiar surroundings and continue to attend the same school district. It also involves few changes on the part of the parents, particularly if you stay with friends and family when you are not “on duty” in the house with the children.
The negatives of nesting
Nesting requires a high level of cooperation between the parents. You must still coordinate on necessities like groceries and utility payments. If you and your ex have a difficult relationship and cannot communicate, it is unlikely that a nesting situation will work.
For most families, nesting is a temporary situation. Most parents do want to establish their own independent living situations at some point. In addition, nesting for too long may raise your children’s hopes that you and your ex will reconcile.
Nesting does not work for all families, but there are several merits to it. Particularly at the beginning of divorce, you may find it is a good transitional step for your family.