Following a divorce, children tend to fare better when they have both parents consistently in their lives. While coparenting is one of the more common solutions, it does not work for every family. Coparenting relies on continuous communication and agreement between both parents, but following a high-conflict relationship can be difficult.
Parallel parenting, on the other hand, relies on parents having separate but equal duties to their children and minimal communication. Some families benefit from parallel parenting instead of coparenting.
You had a high-conflict divorce
Divorce does not necessarily end the arguments between two people. It allows you the necessary space, but when you have to talk with your ex, are you more likely to fight than talk civilly? In a parallel parenting situation, you have minimal communication.
You have a detailed parenting plan that spells out your obligations and neither of you interferes with the other’s parenting tactics. You have specific instructions on when and where to exchange the kids, what happens if one parent cancels and when each parent has decision-making power.
You both care about your child’s best interests
Your relationship with your ex is separate from your relationship with your children. You may be in constant conflict, but it does not change your feelings about your kids. Kids under a joint custody relationship tend to have fewer behavioral problems, higher self-esteem and fewer emotional issues.
Parallel parenting allows you and your spouse to focus on the best interests of your children while finding ways to avoid conflict with each other.