Children who are living through their parents’ divorce have to learn how to cope with many changes. One of these changes is learning to split their time between two homes. This isn’t always an easy transition for the children, so it’s up to the parents to help them through this process.
If you’re going through this with your children, one of the first things you should do is find out exactly what they need as they transition from one home to the other. Children will all cope with this change in different ways. Talking to your child may give you a starting point.
Keep everything as consistent as possible
Consistency through this process may help the children to feel more stable. It’s unlikely that you and your ex will be able to agree on every rule and entry on the schedule. Instead, focus on the big things. For example, a younger child may need to have the same meal and bedtimes in both homes. You and your ex should be flexible and work on a compromise that suits the child’s needs.
Give the child space
Your child should have a dedicated space in both homes. Ideally, this will be a bedroom. If it’s a shared bedroom, make sure they have their own space. For example, give them dresser drawers and closet space to keep their personal belongings. This helps them to feel as though the house is theirs.
Limit packing
Having the basic necessities at each home for the child will reduce what they have to pack to go back and forth. This lets them focus on things they want to bring and things that can’t be duplicated. Younger children may need help with determining what to bring, so offer calm support for this.
The parenting plan will outline when the child will be with each parent. Be sure to help the children understand the schedule to limit confusion and help reduce their stress.
