Parental alienation can occur after divorce. You want to spend time with your child, but notice that the other parent has triggered their distant behavior.
While this situation is not a crime in California, the courts see it as a serious misconduct of child custody and visitation orders. Understanding this concept is crucial to protecting your rights as a parent and ensuring your child gets the best care possible.
The meaning and signs of parental alienation
Parental alienation happens when one parent influences their child to develop negative feelings towards the other parent. This phenomenon manifests itself in different ways, such as:
- Your ex-partner makes bad comments about you to your child.
- Your ex-partner blocks your phone calls and messages.
- Your ex-partner tells your child that you do not love them anymore.
- Your ex-partner withholds your child’s school and medical info on purpose.
These red flags can cause your child to exhibit unjustified hostility towards you. They can show no guilt for their actions and would borrow language used by the other parent to hurt you.
The power of documentation
Witnessing your child pulling away can be difficult, but letting the pain take over can risk losing access to your child. Documentation is your best step forward. Collect the instances of denied visitation trips, the child’s unjustified behavior and blocked calls. Furthermore, consider gathering third-party witnesses and preserving electronic evidence.
Even if the alienation continues, continue reaching out to the other parent. Avoid letting your emotions take over and resort to arguing.
Taking the high road for your child
Your child needs to know that your love and care are constant. Despite the alienating tactics of the other parent, avoid the temptation of doing the same favor. Remember that the courts consider the child’s best interests. If they find you guilty of retaliating or using the same tactics as the other parent, you might risk losing custody of your child.
Navigating these emotional waters while following strict legal standards is difficult to do alone. If you feel your relationship with your child is threatened, seeking legal advice can help you build a strategy to protect your family’s future.

